On her first date, apparently the guy paid for everything. I didn’t pry into what happened at the end of the night, but I did overhear her say that she did hook up with him and then revealed how he seemed “pissed off” that she was going to stay at a friends house after the second date instead of staying with him.

There seems to be an old stereotype that a girl is the “princess” and the guy is the “knight in shining armour” and he should do EVERYTHING to appease her. Times have changed, but this stereotype still exists. This applies to dating at all levels, whether it be a first date, out at the clubs or in a relationship. Women are more independant, and have much more expectations on guys. This is not a guy vs girl post but instead just a friendly observation from a guy, I can’t tell a girl what she wants or say in general what ALL girls want because everyone is different. This is just my view on this particular situation.

On dates that I’ve been on recently (as much as I can), I only pay for my half of the bill. Now this obviously can be flexible. For example, If we are going to do the boring dinner+movie combo, then I will then propose that I will pay for the dinner and she can pay for the movie. Sure i’m probably down a few dollars, but its not about exact figures, but more to do with both having input of some sort. There are no expectations on neither of us to put out, nor is there any expectations to even see each other again. Neither of us have invested more time or input than the other and ff we don’t see each other again then its no biggy. We aren’t going to feel gyped from paying for everything. Life continues. Next!

Now when I discussed my opinion on this, I then said, “you are probably looking for an old fashion guy”. She then replied with an emphatic “Yes, I would love an old fashion guy”. But really, i didn’t really believe this as an old fashion guy will have old fashion beliefs, whether it be that girls belong in the kitchen, they shouldn’t work, they should just take care of the kids and stay at home. Now i’m not going to enter the discussion about full time mums, because thats a full time job in its own but my point is that it’s one of the beliefs of an old fashioned guy. After telling her my views on this, she understood my position but i sensed she felt I didn’t understand hers. Fair enough, i’m a guy.

I then said, its like when guys buy drinks for girls at a club, they are doing it to hook up with you, well thats what most girls i’ve me think. This girl that I was discussig this with then said “oh no, thats totally different”. It was really hard to stomach this. I mean why is it so different and why can’t it be possible for it to be the same? If they think a guy coming up to them in a club to buy them a drink wants to get into their pants, why don’t they think it on a date? Do guys suddenly stop thinking about sex when they are sober? Or is it just less obvious for the girls? Either way, paying for a drink or a date, leaves elements of expectation in the air. In this girls situation, he paid for the first date and there was an undiscussed expectation on her to pay for the second. It wasn’t discussed beforehand, what if for example the girl didn’t have the money to pay for both and they guy didn’t have enough for himself? What happens then?

Most girls that i’ve discussed buying drinks at clubs even say how they take advantage of it. A lot of girls don’t but some do. I’ve actually been in a situation at a club where i was with a couple of girls and they were getting some guy to buy them shots, and they were siphoning them to me. Apparently on the night, this guy went to them and said “hey girls, can i buy you girls a drink? I just got a big payout and I think you girls are pretty hot”. This guy was a loser and whilst he may have been asking to be taken advantage of, the girls didn’t care. I could see this from the other side.

I’m sure some girls may find a guy buying them a drink at a club to be sweet, but really, how many guys will do that a club, typically more than one if your are an attractive woman. Any guy that does that is just putting himself in the “like every other guy” catagory, regardless of their best intentions. I think an attractive woman would be much more interested in something different. “he bought me a drink at a nightclub” isn’t the best of “how we met” stories told at weddings. I’ve actually gone up to girls to get them to buy ME a drink. It’s different and it’s TOTALLY against ALL stereotypes. Of course I buy her next drink, but my first step isn’t to buy a girl something, its getting her attention. Usually it ends up to be a great night for both parties and usually I will connect better with a girl that doesn’t follow stereotypes and she will appreciate someone different, bold and confident.

The poll for this week is “Who should pay for dinner on a first date?”, please vote! Last weeks poll was a 5 to 2 victory to “yes” david tench should be axed.