On her first date, apparently the guy paid for everything. I didn’t pry into what happened at the end of the night, but I did overhear her say that she did hook up with him and then revealed how he seemed “pissed off” that she was going to stay at a friends house after the second date instead of staying with him.

There seems to be an old stereotype that a girl is the “princess” and the guy is the “knight in shining armour” and he should do EVERYTHING to appease her. Times have changed, but this stereotype still exists. This applies to dating at all levels, whether it be a first date, out at the clubs or in a relationship. Women are more independant, and have much more expectations on guys. This is not a guy vs girl post but instead just a friendly observation from a guy, I can’t tell a girl what she wants or say in general what ALL girls want because everyone is different. This is just my view on this particular situation.

On dates that I’ve been on recently (as much as I can), I only pay for my half of the bill. Now this obviously can be flexible. For example, If we are going to do the boring dinner+movie combo, then I will then propose that I will pay for the dinner and she can pay for the movie. Sure i’m probably down a few dollars, but its not about exact figures, but more to do with both having input of some sort. There are no expectations on neither of us to put out, nor is there any expectations to even see each other again. Neither of us have invested more time or input than the other and ff we don’t see each other again then its no biggy. We aren’t going to feel gyped from paying for everything. Life continues. Next!

Now when I discussed my opinion on this, I then said, “you are probably looking for an old fashion guy”. She then replied with an emphatic “Yes, I would love an old fashion guy”. But really, i didn’t really believe this as an old fashion guy will have old fashion beliefs, whether it be that girls belong in the kitchen, they shouldn’t work, they should just take care of the kids and stay at home. Now i’m not going to enter the discussion about full time mums, because thats a full time job in its own but my point is that it’s one of the beliefs of an old fashioned guy. After telling her my views on this, she understood my position but i sensed she felt I didn’t understand hers. Fair enough, i’m a guy.

I then said, its like when guys buy drinks for girls at a club, they are doing it to hook up with you, well thats what most girls i’ve me think. This girl that I was discussig this with then said “oh no, thats totally different”. It was really hard to stomach this. I mean why is it so different and why can’t it be possible for it to be the same? If they think a guy coming up to them in a club to buy them a drink wants to get into their pants, why don’t they think it on a date? Do guys suddenly stop thinking about sex when they are sober? Or is it just less obvious for the girls? Either way, paying for a drink or a date, leaves elements of expectation in the air. In this girls situation, he paid for the first date and there was an undiscussed expectation on her to pay for the second. It wasn’t discussed beforehand, what if for example the girl didn’t have the money to pay for both and they guy didn’t have enough for himself? What happens then?

Most girls that i’ve discussed buying drinks at clubs even say how they take advantage of it. A lot of girls don’t but some do. I’ve actually been in a situation at a club where i was with a couple of girls and they were getting some guy to buy them shots, and they were siphoning them to me. Apparently on the night, this guy went to them and said “hey girls, can i buy you girls a drink? I just got a big payout and I think you girls are pretty hot”. This guy was a loser and whilst he may have been asking to be taken advantage of, the girls didn’t care. I could see this from the other side.

I’m sure some girls may find a guy buying them a drink at a club to be sweet, but really, how many guys will do that a club, typically more than one if your are an attractive woman. Any guy that does that is just putting himself in the “like every other guy” catagory, regardless of their best intentions. I think an attractive woman would be much more interested in something different. “he bought me a drink at a nightclub” isn’t the best of “how we met” stories told at weddings. I’ve actually gone up to girls to get them to buy ME a drink. It’s different and it’s TOTALLY against ALL stereotypes. Of course I buy her next drink, but my first step isn’t to buy a girl something, its getting her attention. Usually it ends up to be a great night for both parties and usually I will connect better with a girl that doesn’t follow stereotypes and she will appreciate someone different, bold and confident.

The poll for this week is “Who should pay for dinner on a first date?”, please vote! Last weeks poll was a 5 to 2 victory to “yes” david tench should be axed.

Tagline
Things fall down. People look up. And when it rains, it pours.

To summarise, this movie is a deep portrayal of the lives of multiple characters. Somehow they get intertwined, but not made to appear so for the entertainment of a movie.

There are no big twists to make you turn but instead a development of understanding of the lives of these characters being focused on. As the tagline suggests, things happen, and sometimes not for any particular reason but sometimes they do.

Lots of other movies that i’ve seen where there appears to be a build up towards a grand climax, is done to give an ending twist- which then renders the movie viewable only once with the same eyes, if that makes sense. I don’t think the sixth sense can be watched with the same eyes the second time.

In Magnolia we see the development of stories which build toward a grand climax. Magnolia differs from others however as whilst some of the points of interest are predicatable, the suspense is in how we see characters in the movie react to these moments not a revelation in storyline.

The acting and direction is in a perfect blend with the setting and content. We feel the pain, the happiness and the relief of those on screen. Movies where you want to see the reaction of characters to revelation in storyline appear with great emotion and understanding, we never feel left out.

I originally hired this film after hearing about Tom Cruise’s roll as Frank Mackey who is a basically the  a “woman tamer” and god amongst men who don’t know how to play the game of getting to bed with women.

Cruise plays a character in only one story of several that this movie tells. His acting and emotion in this film is well deserved of his golden globe award.

Whilst this movie is quite deep in the way things intertwine, try not to think too hard about the background as you will miss the importance of the foreground. One hint, this movie isn’t cut up in different time sections, it is a story of one particular period of time displayed from start to finish.

I’ll try not to spoil this for you, but I do want to say, this 3 hour feature film is definately worth watching, keep a night free to watch it at your own lesuire. Don’t ruin being moved by a brillant film by watching it during conversation or before u go out on a night in the town.

The climax of this movie will display and event that is very out of place and i beleive was put in to make us just realise that some things happen, for no apparent reason- some need to be recognised throughly and some should just be left as a past event.

There is something there for all of us to take away, and for me personally, it has made me realise that saying that you regret something is not a bad thing to say. I’ve always thought regret is a waste as you don’t take decisions made and make something good out of them. But for some things, there is no good that comes out of it and i suppose we need to all acknowledge that these things happen. We can’t do anything more about them now and it’s ok to recognise what we have done wrong in the past regardless of our current situation.

Nobody is perfect and to say we regret decisions made is ok, as long as we recognise bad decisions as bad things and not always as “it was for the best”. It’s not about dwelling about the past, but more about recognition of something that was wrong and giving it the true recognition it deserves- especially if it has affected others you love.

The big quote from this movie is “We may be through with the past, but the past ain’t through with us”

This review has also been submitted to imdb.com