Last night I was at the Nivea Annual Hand Modeling Awards and after a year off, I was back in action in the 2007/08 Summer. I didn’t think I had done enough catalogues to get up for the win, but I was able to snare some crucial votes during the February vote count.

Although I didn’t think my work last season was as good as my fall 2004 season with my award winning “VB hard-earned-thirst” beer catalogue. I think my attitude has matured and you can really see that in my modeling.

I had a year off over the 2006/07 summer as a mouth model, and whilst it was great to be the mouth of Evian water, I really missed my hand modeling and couldn’t wait until that contract was over.

Guess was quick to get me on their roster for their autumn watch magazine ads and so I was really lucky to get a “feel” for it all again.

Thanks to all my support. The girls at professionNail, Steve at Minit Solutions for those late night grind sessions, Kelly and Ross at “Your hands is your face” and finally and most importantly, Nivea for the award and the years supply of Nivea Hand Lotion which comes in “handy” just before I go to bed each night. Thank you so much everyone!

Brisbane Hand Model, Sydney, London, New York

Brisbane Hand Model, Sydney, London, New York

Check out Erin from Sweat Diva, and her new Sweat Depot Fitness Centre in Brisbane’s Northside.

Check out Sweat Depot at www.sweatdepot.com.au

My favourite quote from the first weigh in:

“I’ll eat the cake wrapper just so I don’t have to get up and go to the bin…”

I have quite a bit to review from 2007, lots of amazing breakthroughs, new beginnings, and connections with some amazing people. I’m not going to discuss these in this particular post, but I will in my next. This post is to give myself grades on goals set.

Here the goals that I had set at the start of 2007, and my review of them now:

Health

Do not eat chips: A+

I went 12 months without eating chip eg. hot chips, potato chips, wedges, gems, hash browns and corn chips etc. There were only couple of occasions where it was a difficult task, basically when I was presented with a meal with them unexpectedly.

Play sport or do an outdoor activity once a week: A-

After 5 years not playing any competitive sport, I returned to my favourite sport in Australian Football. It all started when I got a taste of it playing 9-a-side football on the gold coast. After which time, I had made the decision to then go play with the Griffith Gladiators, who were just up the road and in a lower division. Read some of my posts about Griffith gladiators Australian football club.

See the Dentist: C-

Here is a good example of bad goal setting, where if you’re not specific enough, then you can achieve it but not have it make any affect on your situation. I DID go see the dentist, but I didn’t make it a priority to see him again and get the required treatment. My goal should have been, “See the dentist, get the required treatment AND see him regularly so I can maintain my oral health”.

Only drink alcohol once a week: A-

This one was fairly easy, but I thought this was important to set so that I compliment my endeavours with my health. I even learnt to just enjoy my time regardless of alcohol.

Family

Make an effort to speak to each of my family members once a week: D

I started the year off quite well, but as I took on more responsibilities towards the end of year, my regular contact with my family diminished. This lack of being in the “family circle” of communication almost lead to Christmas being cancelled. I’m not going to reveal the details, but lack of communication and not making family a priority had severe and immediate effects on the family as a whole.

Respond to calls from my family with top priority: B-

As this seems like a “no brainer” or a “why do you even have to set that as a goal” goal, I get overwhelmed sometimes with returning calls as I take on more responsibility elsewhere in my life. Whilst I would consider this a pass, I think I can still improve in this area.

Be responsible for Neo (my cat), give him the attention he requires and let him enjoy life: B+

Whilst most of those close to me think that neo gets more attention than they do, there were a few occasions where I would be late home from work at night or in the morning after a night out. This meant that neo would have to wait an hour or two to get fed. Now don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t like he was starving, BUT it’s a routine that I have set for him and I’m committed to keeping him healthy. I had a bit of scare with neo this year with he got a paralysis tick but it just meant that I appreciated his time and attention more.

Personal

Manage my finances with budget planning and to save for a holiday: E

I really bummed out on this one, with bad money management and budget planning. This is one of my priorities this year.

Always be open to love, if it presents itself, embrace it: C-

I met some amazing people this year, and was lucky enough to spend some quality time with them. Whilst I appreciated and enjoyed my experiences, I know there was something holding me back. I am so grateful for the time, attention and patience I received with the girls I met this year, and even more grateful for the ones who are now close friends.

It’s funny how you can think and talk about getting over someone, but it’s not until you actually do, that you can move on. The new year has already presented me with a way forward and I look forward to overcoming some challenges within the coming months. I have a lot more to say on this matter so sign up and “Keep in the loop” to get access to some of my other confessions about love.

Allow myself to enjoy life, keeping a balance between work time and personal time: C-

I started the year off quite well, but found that it become harder and harder to maintain due as I took on more responsibilities towards the end of the year. I did make sure though that I gave myself sufficient sleep to go into the new day, but underestimated the value of time to “do my own thing”.

Be Responsible and safe: B

Probably too general to have a set goal, however I do believe that, in general, I was fairly responsible and safe. I have some passionate thoughts about being responsible. Check out the section “Committed to life” (Work in progress).

Career

Try and obtain one new client a week: B

As I joined the workforce, this became less important, however I was very pro-active in my networking and connecting with people in 2007.

Leverage on my experience with RSPCA: A

My experience with RSPCA and in particular sparked my interest in Internet Marketing and making it my primary skill function.

Look toward working with MSIT, QUT, NRAand modaitalia for fashion work: A-

The NRA fashion awards are being held in 2008, probably because of media coverage restrictions which meant I didn’t cover it.

Learn to really chase leads – eg. Phone up exisiting clients and get contacts for new ones: B+

Logistically this was not entirely feasible as it required a heck of a lot of time to fulfill. I did however learn some amazing ways to automatically chase leads, and have the leads come to me, pre-qualified and ready to buy.

Be really organised as I would expect from any other business: C

Similar to some of my other goal reviews, I did this really well at the start of the year, but as I took on more responsibility, I diminished significantly. One of the my mentors who really helped with this was Brian Tracy.

I’m going to have some pictures and some stats on baby “Robert” soon… ok? haha stats…

UPDATE: Here are the Baby Photos of baby Robbie on the night of his birth. Weighing in at 8 pound 7, and born at Sunnybank Private Hospital, Robbie was born 2 weeks early.

I stumbled into work, and perhaps less than enthusiastic than other days. My boss had noticed something in me, but I felt a bit lost and it took an hour or so to get into gear. As I progressed through the day, I was trying to think of why I was feeling unenthusiastic about being at work and it dawned on me that it was Dad’s birthday. I suppose I started to miss my dad and was less concerned with my work tasks. Once I had pinpointed the source of my discomfort, I was able to understand what I was feeling with some sort of awareness. I was also then able to get my work done as required.

Now whatever happened on Tuesday, really wasn’t too extraordinary, but it’s just funny how deep inner emotions can affect mood and behaviour.

Just as a bonus, I’m gonna share with you something Dad told me and is now a part of me.

As a journalist and radio announcer, Dad was always great with words and communicating with others. One of the best things dad taught me was to think about what I say before I say it. It’s something I do naturally now and it’s rare that I say anything that I regret or leave unresolved. It has helped me immensely in terms of communication but just as a life lesson that can applied to other aspects of my life.

In the next post I have made a podcast of an interview Dad did with AFL legend Ron Barassi in 1981.

Happy Birthday Dad, I hope have broadband wherever you are so you can relive a great interview with an AFL legend.

A couple of weekends ago I had a new roommate move in (Roxy), and I had to make room and basically cull a whole bunch of stuff that was wasting space. I have a accumulated a lot of things since running a home business for 6 years, and hoarding a lot of “might-come-in-handy-one-day” items.

One of the boxes I threw out was a box full of trophies and medals that I had won as a teenager. Mostly from my junior Australian football and school athletics endeavours. A lot of these awards are in excess of 10 years old and have been in a box deteriorating and getting damaged after each move. They have never been on display in my home, i suppose i never thought I needed to- I know i achieved those things, and so did my family…

Since the start of my personal development journey about 18months ago, I’ve slowly become more interested in the journey of life as opposed to the outcomes. It’s seems like such a straight forward and responsible thing to “just do”, but you really have to learn to enjoy learning and enjoy new journeys. So, what probably 2 years ago would have been a tough decision to throw out 10 years of awards for things I worked really hard at, I found that when I saw that dusty box sitting there, it was a “no brainer” for me. These physical items had to go. And that definitely didn’t mean I had to erase them from my brain.

So… To the tip!

I took a photo, just so I have that as a reminder and as a story telling reference for my kids and grand kids…. “Oh look son, here is a picture some awards I won when we used to go outside to play sport!”

I played “aussie rules” for 10 years consecutively from age 8-18. After a year or so off from competition, I returned to play Seniors at Logan Cobras. My first year back was great, played some pretty good footy, but the year after it started to go a bit downhill. I am glad though that Dad got to see me play seniors, its a big step up from playing juniors, and after years of encouragement and coaching, I’m sure he would have been proud.

There is only one thing that I’d love to do in football for me, and that’s play with my brother Ellery. Now Ellery is a bit of a gun, and he’s fairly fit which means that we aren’t in the same league, but I’m gonna try and talk him into playing 9-a-side with me. It’s a bit below his level, but should be fun nonetheless.

Anyways, I’m a bit sore, but it was great getting the blood pumping out on the field again.

The end. or is it?

No it’s not the end, i’m playing again next wednesday. derr…

1. Erin and I broke up

After four years of being with Erin, and living with her for one of those, I had ended our relationship. It is now approaching exactly one year since this happened.

I had originally met Erin at Subway in August 2001 and I was doing a closing shift at Springwood. Erin had walked through the door, wearing a netball uniform. She was the only customer to be served which gave opportunity for conversation.

Erin ordered 2 “subs” that night, both footlong chicken pieces (cold), with mayo, lettuce and tomato on white bread. It was obvious Erin played netball and I asked her if she won. Apparently they did, and they won easily. Her team was the called “The Radicals”. Erin seemed embarassed to reveal that to me. We then got into conversation about what she did. Erin told me she was studying nursing at Griffith logan, I then told her that I studied at Griffith also. At the end of the sandwich runway, I asked her if she wanted to upgrade to the meals, which she did, and I put in some extra cookies to let her know that I enjoyed meeting her. I had taken in everything Erin had said. I made sure I kept in mind that she played netball on wednesdays and that she usually gets Subway after netball…. Erin left the store and I had already started planning seeing her the following Wednesday. The following Wednesday came, but I wasn’t rostered on to work.

At the time I was playing Australian football for the Logan City Cobras. I remembered that we had two volunteer trainers helping us on game day who also studied nursing at Griffith Logan. I knew that I had to get in contact with Erin and so I had written a small letter to give to one of the trainers to give to Erin at uni. Unfortunately, neither trainers were there on the Saturday. That letter stayed in my football bag. I had my usual wednesday night shift again, and I had a young employee working with me that night and it turned out to be fairly busy at dinner time. Erin came through the door and I only noticed her as she progressed through the line. As soon as I realised that she was there, my heart raced and I told my fellow sandwich artist to go empty the bins which would allow me to chat to Erin again. She was last in the line which meant I could chat to her without being too rushed. Unfortunately for me, my colleague decided to take Erin’s order and disregarded my request to empty the bins.

I had about 2 minutes to think of a way to communicate with her without intruding on her order. I rushed out the back and grabbed a pen, and wrote something like “Hi Erin, I think you’re really nice and I’d love to take you out sometime if you’re single”. I left this note at the checkout for her to take. I don’t think she realised, but it was the only way as another customer had come through. I told her that the note was for her. She read it on the spot, and I could see her blush as she read through it, probably embarassing her. My face went red also.

Erin sms’d me that night and she said that she would love to chat and that she had a uni exam that following day. I replied by wishing her luck and that i’d talk to her afterwards. We had our first date that friday night at “Tanja’s” at Garden City.

I’m not going to talk about things I regret doing, but instead just say that I understand how much she went through to be with me and I also understand why I felt I had no other option. I can’t change the past, but I can be better informed for the future. Erin is one the best things to happen to me.

2. Exited Renderpro

2005 was supposed to be the big year for Renderpro, but it didn’t happen. It went the other way. Both Daniel and myself had different passions in life and it was only after some severe financial mismanagement that we had to make the decision to “close shop”. Having a dedicated office underneath our house at Loganholme, our costs increased to a level which made our business unsustainable. It was a very tough thing to leave as both Daniel’s and my parents had invested a lot of time and money into our venture.

There were only few loose ends to tie up at the start of 2006 and once they were done, the exit was complete. I thoroughly enjoyed running a business with a close friend, I’m sure we’ll cross paths again with business ventures.

3. Started Bowman Digital

I changed the name of my business Christian Bowman Productions to Bowman Digital. This was to both simplify the name but also simplify my commercial operations. I adopted Digital Video and now Digital Photography in my service offerings. Mum has also passed on the reigns of her company Bowman Photography Pty Ltd to me and I look forward expanding this with my current services. My first big client under the trading name of Bowman Digital was RSPCA QLD, who I acquired the contract to work on the World for pets online store.

4. Learnt how to understand women/being a man and attraction

One of the primary things in my life that I always want to improve on is my communicaton with other people. This year, I made an effort in trying to understand women and attraction between the two sexes. Having several months to analyse and make sense of decisions I made with my personal life, I needed to source info from others in the world. I had found lots of books, web sites and videos on understanding women, men and attraction. I studied as much as I could to see what I could gain from it all. I’ve learnt a lot about this area and for me, they were also easy to translate into other areas of my life.

The key things that I’ve learnt are as follows:

A. Learnt to be a man - For me there was never any initiation into manhood, no formal training nor resources apparent to become a man. I’ve mentioned this before, but becoming a man doesn’t automatically happen when you start growing hair on your face. It’s much more internal, its about being committed to life. I think women can even take this view. Being committed to life means you’re committed to yourself and those around you. Life starts to fit into place because you start thinking about “HOW do I want to live my life?”. Without asking “How?”, you can never know what needs to be done.

A man also passes on experience to others. Discussion about experiences and findings to others means you allow yourself to evolve and become wiser. I realised that I get a much better understanding of things learnt by teaching others. I watched “We were soldiers” last night and one line caught my attention, “Learn your superior’s job and teach your job to the person below you”. Definitely one way to constantly evolve.

Being a man around a woman means you are respectful of them and take responsibility for things said and done around them. A man should never blame something else in his life if he has mistreated a woman. He should also never play the victim. A man does what he can to be responsible and make wise decisions. I’ll forever be learning.

B. Be attractive by being yourself - I couldn’t do this one without doing the first one. It’s also knowing what you’re best attributes are and leveraging on them. Dress stylishly, here’s a tip – find your style of clothing by trying a style of clothing you’ve never worn before and just go for a walk down the mall. Better still, just ask the people working at the clothes store, try things on and get their opinion, they’ll always be honest. Try to get an assistant and not a manager (different motives). I’ve learnt that if you want to be serious about dressing stylishly, buy good clothes. Balancing your expenditure on things like clothes with other spending means that you actually have a budget for new clothes. For example, I spend a lot of money on computer equipment. If I spend less on that and more on clothes so that I spend an equal amount on both, I can usually afford to get decent clothing. Remember, its not about getting the bargains, its getting what makes you look your best. If it doesn’t make you look great, don’t buy it. If people don’t comment on your nice clothing after you buy it and wear it around them, don’t buy that style again.

C. Having a default thing to do or say for any situation - One of the best ways to know how to deal with a situation is experiencing it. No matter how much you can read up, be told and see on television, none of that can replace actual experience. Knowing what the right thing is best to say to a girl at a bar, in the mall or even on the internet always depends on the situation.

Usually every situation is unique, learning pick-lines etc are fairly ineffective as they do not account for your own personality, locale or mood of the situation. I’ve learnt about dealing with different situations, I’ve even put myself into a lot of uncomfortable situations. This is a forever changing thing and thats why you really need to have your inner game in order. If you have that done, you can adapt to most situations natually.

One example of one of my defaults is, when I take a picture of someone and they ask if they look ok, I’ll respond with “It’s ok, I can fix you up on the computer anyways”. Obviously I say this with a bit of cheekiness, but both male and females respond to this. It’s fun and cheeky. It’s never offensive or demeaning, the delivery is also very important here. Saying something like this is a lot more fun and attractive than, “Oh yes you look beautiful”- Everyone says this. Be different.

This tip translates to so many things in my life, and if you look at business, nothing looks more organised than when you ask someone a question and they confidently have a good answer for you. For example “What’s a nice church to get married at in the City” – I’ll say, “St Stephens cathedral, it’s recently been restored, has free parking and can fit lots of guests”. Having a confident response demonstrates experience which equals knowledge and understanding.

One I used when dealing with the rejection of asking a girl if she was single was “Are you single? I’ll say, “oh you’re not, that’s great, I don’t have to worry about having you try and pick me up. Hey listen, lets meet up and do something fun, I have lots of fun friends to introduce you to!” It’s nothing decieving, just having something to say or do for positive AND negative scenarios.

4. Surrounded myself with wiser and smarter people

As I was no longer living with Erin, Glenn my old roommate, work colleague and business partner moved in. Glenn is one of the most intelligent people I know and whilst I sort of always knew it, I’ve been much more open to actually listening to what he has to say this year and it’s influenced a lot of the ways I do things. One thing I’ve learnt from Glenn is to share knowledge. I’m now much more transparent with how do things, particularly with my technical skills. Previously, I’d never disclose anything to others about how I do things, but I have learnt that talking to others about it, I instantly feel like I’m evolving my skills as I explain how I do certain things.

I made a new friend in Cass Brisbane this year and I’ve spent a lot of time hanging out with her and I really enjoy the time spent. Cass is a walking encyclopedia, she seems to know a lot about everything. It’s always great knowing that if I have some thoughts about why something is the way it is, she will usually have a fairly in-depth understanding of it. I’m a much smarter person knowing Cass. She also lets me be myself, and she loves Neo. I think she’s being my friend just to get to Neo.

5. Woke up to myself

I realised this year that not every decision I make is a good decision. Sure I trust that I’ll work it out, but if I keep making the same mistakes, i’m not paying attention to life. 2006 was a real eye-opener for me, and finding my place in this world meant a lot of preconcieved notions about myself and decisions I made have changed.

As mentioned earlier about being more transparent, I’m also becoming more accountable in things that I do. Having a blog, for example, means that if I talk about something that I do, as much as I can, I make sure I know what I’m talking about. I’m not the best designer in the world, nor am I the best photographer in the world. Whilst I can definately strive toward these things, I can become those things much quicker if I actively engage in conversation about how people better than me work and teaching others who are less experienced.

6. Added another tool on the belt

As mum was retiring from full-time photography, I inherited mum’s studio equipment. Originally I was just gonna have it in my garage and just get a cheap digital camera to take studio portraits. As it turned out, I ended up getting a digital SLR and getting deep into the world of Photography.

The big turning point for me in terms of photography is meeting Carly Faragher, a fashion graduate from the Metropolitan South Institute of TAFE fashion program. I originally met Carly at the EKKA races, where I was taking photos of people and sending them to my website.

This one contact alone gave me a foot in the door to the following fashion events:

MSIT Fashion Graduation and Premilinary judging parades
modaitalia fashion scholarship parade
QUT Fashion Graduate Show
Sweat Diva Activewear Fashion
Swimwear from Oz – Swimwear
NRA Fashion Awards.

Whilst Carly wasn’t always directly responsible for these extra contacts, I was able to leverage on my work with the MSIT to get media passes to other events. It just goes to show that from putting in the hard yards, and being proactive in networking opens up a world of possibilities.

7. World for pets online store

The World for Pets online store is a new initiative of RSPCA QLD in making their wide range of pet supplies and accessories available to customers on the Internet. I was initially contracted to develop graphics for the site and, once involved, I proposed to develop a feasibility analysis and then a business and marketing strategy. Leveraging on my experience with e-business with previous business ventures, I was able to effectively develop the foundation for all online communications for the World for Pets online store. Working with the open-source shopping software OSCommerce, I created strategic plans, implemented new technologies, and provided measurable results to fulfil the Retail Manager’s sales requirements. I thoroughly enjoyed working for the RSPCA and always found it challenging to work efficiently and with minimum resources.

8. Home is no longer home – Family life

Christmas in 2006 was to be the last at our previous address of 28 Innes Crescent, Cornubia. The week after Christmas was to be an extremely exhausting week. Helping mum move and with the help of Cameron Priem and Cass Brisbane, it took 6 truck loads on day one, then 3 truck loads on day 2 to finish the job, all of this in a 3 tonne truck (the largest drivable on a standard license).

The settlement of the house was equally exhausting, especially for Cass who spent a lot of her time and energy doing the conveyancing for the transfer. The settlement was cancelled 3 times and we finally get it done last friday (Jan 5, 2006). The poor people that were buying the property had to stay at a caravan park whilst they waiting for the transfer for to happen (they travelled up from adelaide).

Mum is now in a rental property at Shailer park in preparation to find something new to buy.

9. Looking to the future

I am now looking at the future with confidence and I am excited to see what this year has to offer. I have a few goals and on new years eve I wrote down a list of things I want to see happen in each of the areas of my life:
A. Health

Do not eat chips – I’ve done this for a whole year previously, but I’ve already stuffed this one up at a party a couple of nights ago! But the idea is that if i at least try to give this up, it was steer me away from most fast food.

Play sport or to do an outdoor activity once a week

See the Dentist

Only drink alcohol once a week

B. Family

Make an effort to speak to my mum, nana and each of my siblings once a week
Respond to calls from my family with top priority (I was pretty slack last year)
Be responsible for Neo (my cat), give him the attention as required and let him enjoy life.

C. Personal

Manage my finances with budget planning and to save for a holiday.
Always be open to love, if it presents itself embrace it.
Allow myself to enjoy life, keeping a balance between work time and my time.
Be responsible and safe

C. Career

Try and obtain one new client a week
Leverage on my experience with RSPCA
Look toward working with MSIT, QUT, NRA and moda italia for fashion work.
Learn to really chase leads – eg. Phone up existing clients and get contacts for new ones.
Be really organised as I would expect from any other business.

New year’s resolution:

Be committed to my goals, and hunt down opportunities to improve and evolve.

Best wishes everyone and thank you for visiting my site!

Christian.

Photo taken at my 21st birthday, June 2001.

I have so many memories about my Dad that I obviously can’t say all of here. What I will say about my Dad, and about my parents in general, is that they always helped me with every opportunity in life. Regardless of what I wanted to do, they always supported me.

After years of being in the Greyhound racing industry in Australia as a trainer, steward, radio announcer and grader, he left a life which would have made his father before him extremely proud, to pursue his own dreams of starting his own business (Bowman Video Productions)

Just to give you a run down of some of Dad’s other achievements:

* Was a Journalist with Melbourne newspaper The Age
* Was a Newsreader/Sports Announcer with Gold Coast radio 97.2MW
* Sports (VFL & QAFL Football, Greyhound) Column writer for Gold Coast Bulletin & Brisbane’s Courier Mail
* Level 2 Australian Rules football coach – Coached juniors between 1988-1993 at Logan City Cobras & Mt Gravatt Vultures.

Starting a wedding video business in 1992, Dad now found his new passion and was getting paid for it. After a rocky start, lots of techinical problems and a very steep learning curve to the professional arena, Bowman Video Productions was born. As a young teenager, I was always interested in what Dad was up to, I went to all the trade shows, technical exhibitions and product launches which Dad had to attend to get up to speed.

Going into high school as a bony 13-year-old, Dad always trusted and appreciated my comments and opinions about the venture and particularly about the technical aspect of the business. I spent long hours studying video cameras, techniques and processes to help my Dad with his endeavours. Now, any other kid would never be so involved, but Dad always welcomed my input and I also appreciated that he let me also live my own life. This was also the last year dad coached football.

eing a Victorian, Dad was always a fanatical AFL football supporter. Originally following the Melbourne Demons, his new team would be the Brisbane Bears who are now the Brisbane Lions. As a founding supporter of the new club in Qld, Dad and I went to every practice match before the start of the club’s new venture. We then proceeded to go to every match that was played at Carrara. I remember when the lights were first installed… They still look out of place compared to the size of the stadium! The Bears would become almost an embarassment of the sport, a team full of veterans who were well past their peak of excellence. Owned by the late Chistopher Skase, the club was always embroiled with controversy on and off the field. It just goes to show that money can’t buy everything in life, not even success on a football field.

Dad was finally rewarded for all his passion for the club as the the lions made it to their first ever grand final which was to the be the first of four consecutive grand finals and the first of three premiership flags. One of my biggest regrets was not being there to see my dad’s face when the final siren went to signal the victory over Essendon at the MCG in 2001.

Always wanting to make my parents proud, I always excelled in things that I did. Whether it was on the football field, in Athletics or at school, I was a bit of an over achiever. Having partly an asian background, I also felt the need to give as little excuses for kids to tease me for not being born in Australia (I was originally born in the philippines). I did this by being the best in everything I did. I didn’t know this at the time, but looking back on it now, I believe it was always a subconscious motivator. I represented both Brisbane and the Gold coast in junior football, I represented my school, district and region at state athletic carnivals. I was also general all-rounder at school and towards the end of my high-schooling won a prestigious award for excellence in art.

During all of these achievements, both Mum and Dad were there to support me, whatever i needed. They trusted my judgement in terms of necessary equipment, training and coaching. They always made themselves available for big events and to drop me to and pick me up from training. Of course there were a few times that I took advantage of my power like suggesting I needed “Nike” running spikes instead the cheaper “Puma” ones- but it was with these “Nike” spikes that I set a new school record for the 200m dash. Mum and Dad always trusted my judgement in life, even now mum trusts me with my new endeavours with business.

I’ve never really spoken to many people about the day my dad died and I think i’ve never really let myself think about it too much the years afterwards. I always kept myself busy enough to not have time to let myself mourn properly. I thought that If keep my head down and work hard, that when I come up for air the world will be fixed of this sad tragedy.

Unfortunately for me and the people closest to me, not going through the motions as maybe my other siblings may have, it was only this year that I’ve given myself the opportunity to embrace my thoughts and emotions of my father’s death. Up until now, I don’t think that i’ve opened up to myself and to others and I think it was because I wasn’t ready for it previously.

I first found out about Dad’s death on the telephone whilst I was at Hayden’s 21st birthday bbq at his parent’s place. I remember the drive home as being the start of a long road ahead of uncertainty. On the radio was the Robbie Williams song “Better Man” and ever since it’s always struck a chord inside which reminds me of the drive home and of the sadness of the whole year Dad was sick.

I’ve always taken that song as a reference to the struggles that my Dad endured during his fight against cancer, but I’ve also taken it as a reference to my own struggles in life. Not knowing the road ahead, meant that I always felt that I can’t control what may appear in front of me. Becoming a “Better Man” becomes extremely difficult to learn if the only man that looked up to was no longer around. I really do want to be a better man and it is only now that I realise that to become a man and to be mature, responsible, respectful and all the other traits that a man has, that you have to commit yourself to living life. Unless you consciously do that, I don’t believe you can be all of those things and appreciate what life has to offer. Being a man means you deserve life because are commited to living it, regardless of past events or the expectation of good or bad things which may yet occur.

I’ve heard lots of stories from some of my female friends who have been through some really tough relationships with guys, and more often than not, I attribute these wrong doings to immaturity. Guys that do things like, “He rang me up drunk and was saying all this shit”, or “He got angry at me for asking him why he didn’t want to do this” or even “He has been going through my phone and emails” etc. These are typical examples of immaturity. A mature person knows and understands that people have their own lives and everything doesn’t revolve around them. These people do not know their place on earth which means they cannot know their place in a relationship. I have behaved like this in the past, but I’ve learnt my lessons in this regard.

I read an article about Gary Neiwand, the former Olympic cyclist who was given a suspended jail sentence for stalking his ex-wife but then put into jail for breaking an intervention order that a new ex-lover had put on him for stalking her. Apparently he did things like shout sexually explicit abuse to his ex-wife in front of children at the primary school she taught at, but also sent sms messages to his ex-lover’s boss saying things like, “she’s a slut” and things like that. This 40 year old person, regardless of age, phsyical build or life achievement is not a man. He is a boy in a man’s body. A man would not only know not to do those things to his ex-wife, but also would have at least learnt from the mistakes made and not continued the same behaviour with a new lover.

Over the last year I’ve been through quite a lot, and I think i’ve experienced some real “lows” in my life. At times that I thought that all hope was lost, there was always a small sparkle to let know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve always been a big opportunist, where if I saw something that I truly believe could be an opportunity to reach new heights in my life, I would focus and direct myself towards it. My whole career is based on opportunities I created. These lows in life really affected me this year, but there was always seemed to be an opportunity that arose around the corner. This leads me to believe that I couldn’t be who I am without experiencing those lows. It seemed so much easier at the time to be negative during those periods of my life, but looking back on it all, I’m glad I perceviered. Through a lot of the things I’m doing now didn’t always seem possible back then.

I hear lots of stories and read biographies on people who time after time always respond when asked, “When did you know you knew this is what you wanted to do in life?”, usually it occurs just after a significant event or emotional low in their lives. This has been typical for me thus far in life.

This year, i’ve learnt more than I’ve ever learnt in a single year and I’m no longer going to university. I truly believe that before we can learn about the specifics of life, we need to learn about life itself. I started my journey in learning more about life by learning about myself.

I went through a phase of learning how to pick up chicks, I read biographies, self-help books and watched dvd’s etc to get over an ex-girlfriend and wanting to be more attractive to women. The one thing that I learnt from all of it is to learn to be yourself and enjoy life. Women are extremely responsive to people who are confident, fun and outgoing. Unfortunately you cannot fake that, no pick-up line, or technique can make you become those things. You need to BE those things, girls can pick up on pretenders without even meeting you.

If ever you’ve been in a situation where your life seems to be so good but something still seems missing, usually it has to do with your family, personal relationships and finance. You can have the rest of your life perfect but if any one of those is not in order, it affects the rest of your life quite significantly.

I now mark this day as the first day of the rest of my life. There are new chapters being opened and even my mum and siblings are also opening a new page as we look forward to moving on in life. I now have the tools and level of understanding of my own being and of life to become a “Better Man”.